Embracing the silence...

Bruised
patches of blue and purple wrap around like anklets
skillfully weighing me down with each step,
a stabbing reminder of a path that so easily abandoned me
and in a flash these scars come running back to me
I fell
now I watch the stars on my back
embracing the cold sand on my cheeks
I lay, no worries, no joy, just me and the
music of the crashing waves
and for a moment everything makes sense
I feel complete, without you
I feel, without you…

Dreamer's Tears

tears roll down my cheek when i'm alone
as i cry in my bed
facing the world on my own
i dream of a place of sanitywhere all my pains will be put to an end
not in a dark and sullen place like this
so i would no longer need to pretend
hide my emotions under false ones
as my heart suffers deep inside
the reason of my existence is still unknown
but i hope someday this hell will be overthrown
sometimes i feel i could never recover
that i would never wake up from this nightmare
i dream of being a bid so i could fly
but it never happens even if i try
i struggle for love and happiness
yet all i get is despair and loneliness
i hope someday these eyes of mine will dry
so that for once i would'nt CRY

Contradictions

I'm spinning in circles
that never repeat
I'm following a path
with no beginning
I'm trying to sing
a broken song of sorrow
that has neither words
nor melody
I'm trapped in a hole
i keep digging
even though it already has no bottom
this void, this deep pit of despair
rings sobs of grief
cried
to nobody
I'm drowning in a river gone dry
melting in an artic sun
which knows no mercy
I'm lost in a question
that asks nothing
but its own existence
i live in a world of contradictions
where not even the blue sky
is truly clear...

Broken Wings...

Lifting his head to the skies,
Eyes wide open
Reflections of despair in his eyes,
A feeling that something's broken
No wind, snow or rain,
Feelings of peace and tranquility
Above hurt, beyond pain,
Seriously doubting his ability
Thoughts start to soar,
Eyes begin to glass
Chilled to the core,
All in a moments pass
Memories of flight,
Being lighter than air
The sky seems so bright,
When you're drifting up there
Fresh air and warm light,
Surround the mortal form
Joy and love both in sight,
A calm before the storm
Longing to go home today,
Back to those loving things
But heaven's too far away,
For an Angel...With broken wings

Apathy!

As I sit down by the river and sigh with sadness
Thinking of the times that are lost to me,
I send a small stone skipping ‘cross the water
As I lean back and lose my sanity.

I wished and prayed for true love from another
But ‘ere I looked none ever came to pass my way
So I sit here alone with sadness deep inside
And I know I don't want to live another day

The water was so clear and pure and cold
As I stepped into it's bitter grasping hand.
The fish that swam around me had no idea
Upon these shores I'd make my final stand.

I walked out further in the deepening river
As it slowly took my body and pulled me in
I lost my footing and began to give in
Cause I knew this would be my very end.

It splashed about my head as I slowly sank
Into it's depths I'd look around for my last time.
The frigid water slowly took my breath away
And I knew I'd finally reached the last sublime.

As her pale cold body floated down the river,
So calm and peaceful and so free of care;
The fish that swam below her didn't realize
That her body was lifeless floating there.

Walled in...

She built walls
Of granite around her.
Recoiling from confrontation,
She fortified her castle,
Making the facades stronger.
Each sarcastic word she endured constructed
Another layer.

Beyond the wall,
Her transparent front appeared petrified.
A warm smile or greeting failed to
Thaw the frozen sea within her.
Her stony expression
Was devoid of feeling-
She could not give love
Nor could she receive love.

The turbulent waves crashed
Against the walls, but their efforts were in vain.
Unwavering, she peered down from the tower.
The white water jumped higher,
But she was always a tread ahead.
Only relentless determination
And unrequited love could
Unlock the iron gate and gain entrance.

Stony-hearted, she unintentionally
Reeled Romeos in and
Cast them back over the precipice
Into the dark, frigid sea.
Drowning,
The lovers were dragged away
By the undertow,
Far away from her feelings.

Masquerade...

As I sink into the shadows,
the music begins to fade.
The people have all left me,
and so ends this masquerade.

The food has all been tasted,
bits thrown upon the floor.
My reality sinks in now.
This illusion is no more.

As I look into the mirror,
I cannot give myself a name.
Through all these lies I've hidden,
and lost myself in shame.
The doors will never open
to this castle I have built -
set aside is my pain,
so remains this saddened guilt.

Freedom

Using words that don’t explain
My ongoing, torturing, hated pain
I’m lost and I don’t know why
I have to live, I have to cry

I haven’t done my one last deed
A salvation is what I need
But who cares, for I am lost
I’ve been forgotten, my soul at cost

And then one night, as I lay awake
Regretting the feelings I could not fake
My tears bring forth my dead love
Of cutting, slitting, drawing blood

I forget my life, and shut out the sun
And cut my wrists until I’m numb
From the pain, but I love it so much
Because it feels like your forgotten touch

Now, when I need something to do
To remind me of my love for you
I take out my trusted blade
And let my painful feelings fade

(still thinking of a title)

Close your eyes
And we’ll pretend
It’s just us here
Alone again
You brushed my tears
And kissed me gently
We knew that
Was more than friendly

So hold me tight
Don’t tell me no
I’ll take your hand
I won’t let go
I’ll watch your smile
And stroke your cheek
So don’t say
You feel incomplete

wonder awake...

daydreams and imaginings

something barely recognized
lost seeming
bright blinding

imagination
waiting
wondering
dreaming

entering triumphant
renewed
again faithful
wondrous

your victory
a retreat
a flag planted

conquered
or cautious

chill
expanding miles

and i wonder
real
imagined

THoughts run insane!!!

Broken heart grievously weeps in pouring rain Drowning peaceful soul inside puddles of pain Keep thinking of you and those good old days Miss your existence in so many different ways Oceans of tears flowing from my weary eyes Agitated life floating between high tides Loss of love turning my inner views fully blind Hopeless ideas overshadow an intoxicated mind Forces of rage rotating around my head Flowers of joy soon will be wilting to death Clusters of blossoms losing delicate petals Weakened heart breaking in to fragments Venomous thorns hurt the roses that try to bloom Poisoned feeble life drifting toward darkest doom Soul of scornfulness often seething in extreme pain Tranquility disappears as the thoughts run insane...