Thursday, November 27, 2008

Dance of Death...


Flames arose from the decay
Went down
Tired
In a steady rhythm
Oh! look how it danced
The thoughts came unbidden
The tears were unasked for
My insides churned
In warning
Dancing to the tune of death
The fire pushed me on
Sorely mechanical
The indifference of my own soul
Paralyzed me into a dreadful torture
The flames danced.
The animal gnawed at me
Fulfilling its desires
Deriving a sadistic pleasure from my agony
And I danced with purpose
The Dance of Death.

Live to Die...


I’m so tired of being here
Paying for each misdeed with a precious tear
Slashed my heart with a whip of words
Cried out blood in a haze of hurt.
Never realized the end could be like this
Rudderless and weak, I was going amiss
Failed to perceive the cynicism in his tone
Refused to believe he would leave me stranded, alone.

I’m sick of trying to understand what’s past
An allusive shadow on my future it cast
Shed were the pigments off his skin
Burnt was every inch of my flesh, paying for my sin;
Tears gushed out with a casual languor
Blood flowed with hysterical ardor
A cadaverous corpse paying penance
Eyes longing for respite in every furtive glance.

Hopes crashed, I surrendered under the weight
Realization dawned upon me too late
Debauched were the feelings I had so treasured
Every ounce of love had been paid for and measured.
Inebriated with a sadistic exaltation
I laughed away the pain of my contusion
Dark clouds hovered around me, harbinger of evil
Heralding misfortune, sending through me an ephemeral chill.

I could feel the end hobbling along
Phlegmatically approaching a domicile wrong
I noticed the redundant darkness of the clouds
I envisioned my heart in fragments and shrouds;
Soon the torment would stop with my death
A price would be paid for every breath
The miracles above would exculpate me
A better life in hell I await to see.

Broken Promises...


Unknown, unseen, so black

Haunts me, kills me

Every moment of my life

I die another death
More painful than the one before
And the beauty within
Mocks me, derides me, laughs at me...
Every moment of guilt
I bottle up within me.......

Shapeless, dark, stubborn
Encompasses me
Holds me firmly with strong hands
And the painful grasp
Just makes me more bloodless, more lifeless
More Heartless than i was before...

The secrets unleashed
Strike me like lightening
The pain inflicted
Gives me much wanted relief
And the desire of fulfillment
Lights up my downcast eyes...
The fire of vengeance
Burns bright within me
And cools down my raging mind....

And a hopeless hope
Promises to see me through
But then, He made me a promise too....
A promise meant to be broken....

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Old Flames...


Of autumn leaves
And purple violets
And crystal dew drops
Clogging my heart,
Of all the absurdities
And the perplexities
Of new found love,
Of the magic of its wondrous charm
And the pristine perfection
Of its coveted beauty,
Of the unsullied approach
That is but once in a lifetime
And the blissful ignorance
That comes with it,
And of the heart break
That follows with mourning silence
In the cheering footsteps
Of cupid’s mistake;
Of all those things
In which I no longer have a say,
For me,
Is it a boon or a bane?

Monday, November 24, 2008

Have to let it go...

a new morning, bringing in its wake
another sad day of lesser daylight
and lengthening shadows.
where are those verdant meadows?
where is the happiness you promised me?
i'm lost in the mindless traffic of this busy city.
perhaps, you know the way?

the Sun. the wonderful warm Sun.
it does not warm my cold body.
it stares at me icily, daring me to stare back.
makes me feel like a stranger in my own world.
i feel alienated, oh! i feel so wronged!
i belong here, but they do not care.
perhaps, you could convince them?

the waves crash down at my feet
like they were waiting to swallow me
engulf me and eat me up-
mind, body and soul.
they are powerful, omni-potent;
mightier than the pen i now hold,
saltier than the tears my dried eyes had once shed.
i cannot escape Nature's outrage, the ruthlessness of its punishments.
perhaps, you have some pity for me?

the world has had enough of me
or, is it the other way round?
then, why dont the stars twinkle at me?
why doesn't the wind sing me lullabies?
my slashed wrists bleed, profuse, shameless..
my blood soothes my body
my eyes find pleasure in watching it flow.
i must go now.
perhaps, you will pray to let me rest in peace?

Have to let go...

A new morning, bringing in its wake
Another sad day of lesser daylight
And lengthening shadows.
Where are those verdant meadows?
Where is the happiness you promised me?
I'm lost in the mindless traffic of this busy city.
Perhaps, you know the way?

The Sun. The wonderful warm Sun.
It does not warm my cold body.
It stares at me icily, daring me to stare back.
Makes me feel like a stranger in my own world.
I feel alienated, oh! I feel so wronged!
I belong here, but they do not care.
Perhaps, you could convince them?

The waves crash down at my feet
Like they were waiting to swallow me
Engulf me and eat me up-
Mind, body and soul.
They are powerful, omni-potent;
Mightier than the pen i now hold,
Saltier than the tears my dried eyes had once shed.
I cannot escape Nature's outrage, 
The ruthlessness of its punishments.
Perhaps, you have some pity for me?

The world has had enough of me
Or, is it the other way round?
Then, why dont the stars twinkle at me?
Why doesn't the wind sing me lullabies?
My slashed wrists bleed, profuse, shameless..
My blood soothes my body
My eyes find pleasure in watching it flow.
I must go now.
Perhaps, you will pray to let me rest in peace?

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Lingering...


I am
a wave of no return
a breeze diffusing into nothingness
a single burst of perfumed fragrance
a whiff of memory
and nothing more...

I am
on the sidelines of your dreams
watching the dramas you create
in your whimsical mind
with folded arms
and half smiles of suppressed delight

I have
no colour
no flame
and no texture
A fleeting impulse I am
not to be confused
with your waking hours
of insanity.

I am
a solitary tear
shed in a forgotten haze
over reasons, trivial
only a dull memory
of sympathetic heaviness
happily abandoned
in the smiles of the moment.

I am the dawn's moon
I am the dewdrop
I am the poet's thought
I am the woman's lot
And I come, to go
And I shall be gone...

Fare you
well?

confused and composed

I know you are not good for me...But it's worse without you...even when I don't want you...I end up needing you...you are my favouri...