Live to Die...


I’m so tired of being here
Paying for each misdeed with a precious tear
Slashed my heart with a whip of words
Cried out blood in a haze of hurt.
Never realized the end could be like this
Rudderless and weak, I was going amiss
Failed to perceive the cynicism in his tone
Refused to believe he would leave me stranded, alone.

I’m sick of trying to understand what’s past
An allusive shadow on my future it cast
Shed were the pigments off his skin
Burnt was every inch of my flesh, paying for my sin;
Tears gushed out with a casual languor
Blood flowed with hysterical ardor
A cadaverous corpse paying penance
Eyes longing for respite in every furtive glance.

Hopes crashed, I surrendered under the weight
Realization dawned upon me too late
Debauched were the feelings I had so treasured
Every ounce of love had been paid for and measured.
Inebriated with a sadistic exaltation
I laughed away the pain of my contusion
Dark clouds hovered around me, harbinger of evil
Heralding misfortune, sending through me an ephemeral chill.

I could feel the end hobbling along
Phlegmatically approaching a domicile wrong
I noticed the redundant darkness of the clouds
I envisioned my heart in fragments and shrouds;
Soon the torment would stop with my death
A price would be paid for every breath
The miracles above would exculpate me
A better life in hell I await to see.

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