On a Darkened Horse...

She rode upon a darkened horse,
Who carried all her fears away.
Leaving trails of blood from her hearts remorse.
Not knowing what to say,
There's no longer a delay.

Tidal waves of stormy clouds pour in
As she cluntches her teeth tight.
Desires are fed off her adrenalin.
Striving to stay alive with might.

Thunder rips through her body's temple,
Walking her spirit upon shakey ground.
Now, flying free it all seems so simple.
Yet the sun decends and nothing is found.

What has this timeless journey brought?
All answers weaved and salted.

Scattered Echoes...

Flowers for a grave,
Both dainty and distressing,
As tears escape twin rivers of the soul.
Convenient time I gave,
Infrequently expressing,
The sentiment between routine and role.
Words left unspoken,
Considered unnecessary,
Sunshine and shadows, petals and tears.
Now the bridge is broken,
The chance was temporary,
To cross back and stroll through tender years.
Eulogies and regret,
As mysterious as Jade,
I failed to say just what I really meant.
A cemetery debt,
For love that went unpaid,
And greeting cards I never even sent.

MIND!

Pale eyes, a blank expression,
wander through clouds of indescribable dreams.
Cold mist air, surrounded isolation
flaws my occupied mind
with either hate or death.
Something certain will be for always;
change in time forbids movement.
Fearing you understands myself;
help me open up, just a little more.

Darkened Cigarettes...

Alone, in front of the expanse of black,
Light from the side but faith no more,
A moment to ponder before I crack,
And I reach for the pain without a sore.

It eludes me, that devious and sly thought,
Leaving the notion of immense disease,
A smile - receiving the item that I sought,
But it's a lie - I'm brought to my knees.

One, the sender, blinks and turns away,
Finding solace in personal deceptions,
Letting this helpless being cry and stray,
Upon the brink of futile conceptions.

Once - just maybe - there had been the rose,
Impish grins shining to respond in aluminum,
But the heart - it feels what the mind knows,
Sensing pain in edifices and a small crumb.

Falling, now, with no signs of stopping known,
Occasional hints with the facade of light to see,
Snapping and breaking every single bone,
Yet one would see an untouched body.

Light - the purifying source of all knowledge and lies,
Those Mundane objects re-attaching mortal debts,
Here - no, perhaps there, light returns and deeply sighs,
Streaming the curling smoke of darkened cigarettes.

Windows

Across the headlands
The forest masses
Under gray skies
And mist
Into a solid wall
Of muted gray
Through which cars
Glide skirting noiselessly
The rocky edge.
Through a window
I watch, windows are
For watching -
Square pieces of life
Ever changing.

Overcast...

Song, my tempest angel
Ring through my clouded breath
Tones carry the lyrics of life
To bring the passage of death

Oh, sweet melody rapture
I beseech you in respect
Bring solitude to its end
With your holy dialect

Tear tone notes of chant
Blackens the once blue sky
Softens my restless spirit
To ease me where i lie

Words from unknown gods
Sung through sirens lips
Enchant this weary soul
Buried in death's own crypts

So long, too long ago
Was when i heard it last
A tender sorrow tale
That accompanies my past

But now i will sing
And release my heavy chains
So i can live in harmony
beneath the pouring rains...

Abandon the past
Throw away the baggage
Suffer no more. avast

Breakaway from the chains and shackles
Which from you, your life, take away;
Breathe again; this time without constraint
And the dreams in your eyes
Realize;

Forget fear. Forget the barriers and the walls
Even the greatest of mountains on your feet will fall
When you with self-trust stand tall.

Walk away from those who try to cheat on your soul. Don’t stall.
Remember the wisdom of those wiremen The universal law will square all.

Dream and don’t give up
And if they don’t shape up
Try. try once more.
Don’t breakup.

For the race of life
Is won, not, by the fastest or the strongest
But, by the one who can give his all……….

Choose your obsessions...

Choose your obsessions
For they are unworthy possessions
Trojan horses
They bind you
Without you realizing
They hinder your natural design
And make you completely blind

Choose your obsessions
For they are unworthy possessions;
They are the weeds,
You; yourself choose to grow.
Some seeds are rotten..
Still you keep them, them, you don’t throw.

And after the tsunami
You wonder why you were destroyed
By; your own army…

Choose your obsessions
For they are unworthy possessions;
They determine; the extent of your regression…
Although we must All have some,
Eggs turn into chickens
Choose your obsessions
For they are impressions
Which can determine your future
& Tomorrow’s positions
The journey; and the final decision.

Choose your obsessions
For they are unworthy possessions

Just a little longer...

Desolation,
Wide open space,
Between the trees and me,
Emptiness and me,
Confusion and decisions,
Feelings hard to define,
And I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

Coldness seeps
Its way in,
I am falling deeper,
Into what I fear most,
As I reach out,
There is nothing there,
As possible there was something once,
Only to be gone,
And I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

The sun drops,
The last inch of light falls,
The squirrels more likely to be huddled up,
But not me,
Something I never possessed,
And I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

Then the sun has gone,
Darkness spreads its wings over me,
I see nothing so no one sees me,
Feeling of bitterness only,
And I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

An Owl peers down,
With question in her eyes,
She doesn't have a hope,
In helping me,
As she doesn't see my pain,
Spreads her wings,
Passes me by,
And I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

The soft earth,
Seems the only thing holding me up,
Even then I could slip,
And wondering takes me,
To why and how I got here,
Without even knowing it,
Yet no one notices,
As they didn't see before,
So I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

Shimmering in the darkness,
I see two moons,
Reflecting off a stream of thoughts,
Ongoing forever more,
Along a rocky road,
Slowly giving in to finding a way out,
I take the plunge under the river,
Then the wind carries a whisper,
Gently on a breeze,
'Just a little longer.'

Corrupted love...

A warm sensation fills my body
My heart races with every touch
The softness of your voice soothes
My soul
As I lay there hoping the moment
Will never end
Calling out for you
Praying that you'll never let me go
The sensation so strong
I can no longer feel my body
Slowly I fade in and out of reality
In an instant the warm sensation
Fades away
My heart empty
My soul torn apart
Lying there; wondering where I went
Wrong
Calling out for you, only to find
there is no answer
My mind invaded with thoughts
So cruel and unrefined
The sensation of fear of what's to come
Slowly the reality over powering
The lust and fantasy
Leaving me empty
Confused on how to think or feel
The loneliness I feel
So wretched and compelled
Betrayal to myself
Revealing the terrors of my love

Replacement...

Your passing holds no interest
for again I carry on
empty on the inside
I await another dawn.

Endless searching for another,
a substitute at best,
someone I pretend is you
in hopes that I may rest.

Their arms offer no comfort
no solace in their touch
I pretend they all are you
the one I miss so much.

Scattered Echoes...

Flowers for a grave,
Both dainty and distressing,
As tears escape twin rivers of the soul.
Convenient time I gave,
Infrequently expressing,
The sentiment between routine and role.
Words left unspoken,
Considered unnecessary,
Sunshine and shadows, petals and tears.
Now the bridge is broken,
The chance was temporary,
To cross back and stroll through tender years.
Eulogies and regret,
As mysterious as Jade,
I failed to say just what I really meant.
A cemetery debt,
For love that went unpaid,
And greeting cards I never even sent.

Mind over matter...

Pale eyes, a blank expression,
wander through clouds of indescribable dreams.
Cold mist air, surrounded isolation
flaws my occupied mind
with either hate or death.
Something certain will be for always;
change in time forbids movement.
Fearing you understands myself;
help me open up, just a little more.

What Lives In Me...

Misled troves on Sunday morning fly away,
I sing as I was the wind,
And burn like the fire.
Trembled cold ice lives in my heart,
Racing are my words.
They twine together as one,
But live together as two.
Roses that are gray,
And a ocean no longer blue,
The daze continues.
A bridge not to be crossed,
And a church not to be kneeled in.
Once at peace,
Resting for eternal bounds
Will then I live.

Dance Of Terror...

Window panes come crashing down
Amidst the tears and pain
Vanishing hopes are gone and flew away
Up above through twilight
Shadows cast across the floor
Reflections of the past
Trembling thoughts of one
Dwelling deep within the soul
A mystical sense of reality
Captured by the craze
All in bewilderment
Of the shock in the wave
Creatures of the dimness
Chattering amongst the green
Everything slows in stillness
What is this we see?

Blinded

I was so blind
Why did I not recognize
All the sadness drowning in her eyes?
I was too busy to take some time
And ask her what was on her mind
I was so blind

Now I see her cries for help,
All the cards she had dealt
She was just waiting for them to run out
Is that what life is all about?

Just waiting for it all to end,
or asking why did it ever begin?

It's not supposed to be like that
You can't just lie around like a door mat

Let people step all over you
and wish the wind would take you to wherever it blew

I didn't see that's what she did
She hid

Why couldn't I find
I was so blind

She is gone now
I just cry and ask how

I let her slip away
It gets harder everyday

Now I sit in sorrow,
Wishing there was no tomorrow

I was so blind

Fever Dreams...

the night beckons me
crooking her finger
smiling enigmatically
I follow
through icy river
and steamy jungle
always with the barest
glimpse of mystery
in front of me
shivering with cold
burning with heat
I am aching...

The Dog that saw the rainbow...

Reaching upwards I touch a star
Burning and cold it splinters
Leaving bits and pieces of shiny
Colored glass over my face
Across the universe
In my eyes...

Waving my hands I send them out
Sparkling and flying high then low
Rainbows dropping here and there
Sent from elsewhere and tomorrow
Leave salty trails of tears
And bubbles of laughter

Clear cold tracks from
Heart to mind and back again
Confusion in the swirling emotions
I catch and release these
Moments, the colors of life
That lay in my hands

Like a fist full of sky
Or an ear full of music
Too rich and complex for a
Mere mortal like me
To comprehend or capture
With words.

Wave Of Mutilation...

I press my forehead on the window
And through it watch children
Playing on the lawn
Desolation pulses through my veins
And my futile fingers reach out for guidance
I savor the blade, sinking deeper than blue
I can taste tranquility for a wavering instance
The anger flows down my arm as the bitter black blood
Burns off my fingertips
Death swims before me in hazy illusion
Images of eternity skip shamelessly through my mind
Pain surrounds, I am resolved to be - still
I run my hand on the tear stained window
And distorted through it
Watch children playing on the lawn 

Confessions Of A Broken Heart...

Pain... Tension... Fatigue...
Depression...
Anger, Aggression, Frustration.
All these unwanted sensations -
Burning, hurting, tearing.
My heart alone, cold and fearing.
Why won't you let me sleep, let me rest,
Let me forget
To eradicate, eliminate, destroy all my regrets?
These memories inside, swirling, twirling,
unwilling to reside in the corner of my mind.
Repeating, resisting, insisting -
Refusing to be denied its recognition
Of its position in my
Frustration, Confusion, Delusion.
Ah, to close my eyes and let time fly by,
Because there's so much to gain
By forgetting these dreams driving me insane.
Unfocused, unclear, out of control,
My world spinning, spinning, spinning,
My sanity flying through the door.
My reason, my logic, oh, it's tragic,
Like fine sands running through my hands,
I'm losing my mind.

Maa...

As I sat watching by your bed,
A million thought ran through my head.
Of just how much were you aware?
Did you know that I was there?

Could you feel the love I sent,
In whispered word, Or prayer bent?
A thought a silent hope,
To spare your life for my selfish cause?

So that I could tell you just once more,
"I love you Maa! " as I had before.
And we could chat like days of old,
Over coffee cups all rimmed with gold.

And laugh and joke, or just to share
some small hurt and perhaps a tear.
To talk of the past, or things yet to do.
To sniffle, and sneeze, and say "Bless You! "

All these dreams now hang in shreds,
As I sit here with bowed down head.
And ponder on these sad thoughts.
Just to wonder, "Was it all for naught? "