Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Dog that saw the rainbow...

Reaching upwards I touch a star
Burning and cold it splinters
Leaving bits and pieces of shiny
Colored glass over my face
Across the universe
In my eyes...

Waving my hands I send them out
Sparkling and flying high then low
Rainbows dropping here and there
Sent from elsewhere and tomorrow
Leave salty trails of tears
And bubbles of laughter

Clear cold tracks from
Heart to mind and back again
Confusion in the swirling emotions
I catch and release these
Moments, the colors of life
That lay in my hands

Like a fist full of sky
Or an ear full of music
Too rich and complex for a
Mere mortal like me
To comprehend or capture
With words.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Wave Of Mutilation...

I press my forehead on the window
And through it watch children
Playing on the lawn
Desolation pulses through my veins
And my futile fingers reach out for guidance
I savor the blade, sinking deeper than blue
I can taste tranquility for a wavering instance
The anger flows down my arm as the bitter black blood
Burns off my fingertips
Death swims before me in hazy illusion
Images of eternity skip shamelessly through my mind
Pain surrounds, I am resolved to be - still
I run my hand on the tear stained window
And distorted through it
Watch children playing on the lawn 

Confessions Of A Broken Heart...

Pain... Tension... Fatigue...
Depression...
Anger, Aggression, Frustration.
All these unwanted sensations -
Burning, hurting, tearing.
My heart alone, cold and fearing.
Why won't you let me sleep, let me rest,
Let me forget
To eradicate, eliminate, destroy all my regrets?
These memories inside, swirling, twirling,
unwilling to reside in the corner of my mind.
Repeating, resisting, insisting -
Refusing to be denied its recognition
Of its position in my
Frustration, Confusion, Delusion.
Ah, to close my eyes and let time fly by,
Because there's so much to gain
By forgetting these dreams driving me insane.
Unfocused, unclear, out of control,
My world spinning, spinning, spinning,
My sanity flying through the door.
My reason, my logic, oh, it's tragic,
Like fine sands running through my hands,
I'm losing my mind.

Maa...

As I sat watching by your bed,
A million thought ran through my head.
Of just how much were you aware?
Did you know that I was there?

Could you feel the love I sent,
In whispered word, Or prayer bent?
A thought a silent hope,
To spare your life for my selfish cause?

So that I could tell you just once more,
"I love you Maa! " as I had before.
And we could chat like days of old,
Over coffee cups all rimmed with gold.

And laugh and joke, or just to share
some small hurt and perhaps a tear.
To talk of the past, or things yet to do.
To sniffle, and sneeze, and say "Bless You! "

All these dreams now hang in shreds,
As I sit here with bowed down head.
And ponder on these sad thoughts.
Just to wonder, "Was it all for naught? "

confused and composed

I know you are not good for me...But it's worse without you...even when I don't want you...I end up needing you...you are my favouri...