Dear Rebound Sex, you must be the hardest thing to unravel right now. You see, I always opposed you, I looked down on you, I counted my lucky stars and I was proud to never have used you. You’re a crappy way to ease pain and you spin and twirl around in my head, taunting me, seducing me. You make me lose my mind about what could be or couldn’t be or what never really was, at all.
Dear Rebound Sex, the fact that I turn to you must be the most desperate thing I’ve done. I’m afraid, of being rejected, being accepted, being in love or not feeling anything even though I thought I did. You corrupt me to no end. I throw my standards out the window, I give in to my temptations, like a warm bath I sink into you and for a moment, just a moment, my head is silent. My ears hum, my skin tingles, my fingers trace lines on your back, my legs pull you closer. For a moment, I feel loved. I feel appreciated. I feel beautiful. But as sanity fades and insanity takes over, or it might just be the other way around, I open my eyes and see nothing but darkness in the bed where we sleep. You have rolled over and are now snoring peacefully while I dissect my every thought.
I have corrupted everything I stand for, I am a notch in a bedpost, a stain on the sheets, a discardable sex toy, an empty vessel that once contained confidence, trust and love. I’m only part of a list and objectified by my body, I’m cheap and easy and I am ashamed to no end, that I never had the back bone to oppose you. So tell me why, even when I feel like leaving in the middle of the night, distressed and struck by despair, I instead move close to you. I run my fingers through your hair, I hear you sigh contently, I kiss you on the lips and I hold on tight, preparing for a night of insomnia and doubts.
Dear Rebound Sex, we may never love, you might not even like, but just for tonight, can we pretend we do?
Dear Rebound Sex, the fact that I turn to you must be the most desperate thing I’ve done. I’m afraid, of being rejected, being accepted, being in love or not feeling anything even though I thought I did. You corrupt me to no end. I throw my standards out the window, I give in to my temptations, like a warm bath I sink into you and for a moment, just a moment, my head is silent. My ears hum, my skin tingles, my fingers trace lines on your back, my legs pull you closer. For a moment, I feel loved. I feel appreciated. I feel beautiful. But as sanity fades and insanity takes over, or it might just be the other way around, I open my eyes and see nothing but darkness in the bed where we sleep. You have rolled over and are now snoring peacefully while I dissect my every thought.
I have corrupted everything I stand for, I am a notch in a bedpost, a stain on the sheets, a discardable sex toy, an empty vessel that once contained confidence, trust and love. I’m only part of a list and objectified by my body, I’m cheap and easy and I am ashamed to no end, that I never had the back bone to oppose you. So tell me why, even when I feel like leaving in the middle of the night, distressed and struck by despair, I instead move close to you. I run my fingers through your hair, I hear you sigh contently, I kiss you on the lips and I hold on tight, preparing for a night of insomnia and doubts.
Dear Rebound Sex, we may never love, you might not even like, but just for tonight, can we pretend we do?
