Thursday, December 29, 2011

I am heartbroken
My self-respect ruined
My ego crushed completely
Neither trust is to be spared

You robbed me of all I had
My life I shared with you
My love I showed to you
My dreams I dreamt with you

People do what you did to me
Only to those they hate
or the ones they wish to die
Please tell me now
In which category do I lie

I hope you are happy always
And my existence not a hindrance anymore
Coz I have died many-a-times now
And you cannot rape me anymore

Written by somebody I love and hurt terribly....if you are reading this will never put you through that again....i know I've said it many a times....but will do all it takes to prove it to you...   

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

You and me all eternity...

Lost in the world of thought
Just you and me here
Dreaming of what could be
of words unsaid
Of feelings not expressed
a regret that lasts for ever more
you me and all of eternity
an abyss of restrained hopelessness
An emotional cavity
A blissful existence
You and me all eternity....

Saturday, December 3, 2011

A Kiss....

would you kiss me tonight
so soft
so gentle
arouse deep feelings
please, make it so sensual
can you feel a kiss without your heart
so warm your lips, I felt them part
no words can be spoken, the meaning is true
that kiss will last forever
it’s only for me and you
a kiss from the heart

As the passion ensues...

Silently she awakes and gazes upon him there.
She sees him sleeping peacefully and longs to hold him near.
She reaches out her trembling hand to gently touch his face.
Remembering short hours ago, sharing love's embrace.
He stirs just then and spies her tender. loving stare.
Then places his hand over hers, stunned at the extent of her care.
Their eyes never leave each other as she caresses his soft skin.
She smiles at him slightly as she moves closer to him.
He takes her in his arms placing a kiss upon her cheek.
She turns her head slowly, his lips for her to seek.
A subtle moan escapes her as his hand explores anew.
Passions kiss intensifies as their rhythmic dance ensues.
He proclaims his love for her as he kisses her wanting neck.
She moves her hands over him finally to rest upon his chest.
Feeling her velvet secret engulf him again and again,
And feels her building climax escaping from her then.
She arches back, catches his eyes adoring their allure.
As they reach their perfect harmony, together once more.

Because you cared...

Maddening, swirling, tumultuous thoughts give my heart no peace
Muscles tensing, heart's wrenching, longing for release
Walled off from emotions, numbed to dreams of bliss
Frantically grasping for a hold, sliding further into the abyss
All color drains from my world, subtle shades of gray permeate
Broken shards cast illusions, hope falsely propagates
A former warrior, battle tested, I frantically disguise my fears
Resolve dissolves, nervousness abounds as my refuge disappears
As autumn's cycle nears an end, the ice begins to advance
Stealthily attacking, patiently awaiting for a perfect chance
A frozen heart, desolate and bare, obscures all that would try to see
The warmth reflected, gives off no heat, illusions mask reality
On hands and knees, mumbling pleas, I search for sanctuary
To glimpse beyond this desolation, to a world of possibility
Eyes closed, perceptions peeked, it hovers beyond my reach
A whispered supplication, alone, these barriers I cannot breach
A gentle touch, delicate and warm, I feel him reach for me
Chasing back the shadows, an angel, cradles my sanity
Relaxing, drifting, smiling, I find comfort in his embrace
My savior and redeemer, a  smile upon his face
I close my eyes and search within, I'll trust my instincts this time
I feel a heart of gold as his passion unfolds, a beauty so sublime
Peace radiates from his body, a warmth soaks into my soul
A smile reflects a love so deep, my heart I cannot control
Illusions shimmer and are gone, my world is bright and true
Spring marches forth with determination as my life begins anew
To pass beyond is what I sought, but dreams do not compare
To the reality of this wonderland graced by an angel so fair
Dreams shared, rendezvous dared, we joined together as one
The bonds of my enslavement have been lifted, my battle finally won
No regrets can be found, my reflections bring no remorse
Love that binds, as the tendrils climbed lead me down this course
Peace and comfort fill my soul where once only chaos dared
Now love emanates, peace radiates, because an angel cared

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Mindless agony...

Pale eyes, a blank expression,
wander through clouds of indescribable dreams.
Cold mist air, surrounded isolation
flaws my occupied mind
with either hate or death.
Something certain will be for always;
change in time forbids movement.
Fearing you understands myself;
help me open up, just a little more.

Nearly unnoticed...

She is lonely
Even though you can't tell
She is reaching out
For what, she doesn't know
She will continue to sit in silence
And hope that someone may stumble across
Her and all of her emptiness
But they only hope that they do it in time
Otherwise she will have drifted too far
And she may let go
Of whatever grasp of the world she has
As she slowly fades out of the lives of everyone
Nearly unnoticed.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

And yet i'm here...

In the midst of confusion
I reach out to you
With broken arms and a bleeding heart
I call for you
See you walking at a distance
With no reason to care
Each step you take
Away from me
Is a searing pain I feel
I call out to you
Holding back my tears
You look at me like a stranger
And turn away your eyes
I drag myself across
Each limb at a time
Picking up myself
Holding myself together
I learn to bear the pain
The further you walk away
My pain seems to be subsiding
Or is it just that I can no longer feel
Delirious and dreaming cloud my judgement
An oblivion of possibilities and life after death
I life with freedom
And yet I lie here staring at you walk away...

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Demonic Unrest...

This tormenting ambiance alluring.
Ghastly, yet nostalgia weeps abound.
A twinge, delicate, yet potent.
Why does it act as so?

An experience unmistaken,
Floating amongst inexpressible words,
Only you know the true picture.
Seeking the unrest that flows beneath my skin,
My veins, like Styx, carry the screams.

The confusion, manifests to a daily inferno.
Distraught, it sets ablaze to thoughts.
Raging them down hallways at speeds,
which only the unknown can read.
Unable to treat, each day returns to strife.
Agonizing is the struggle, hope reaches long.

But it cannot brighten the islands afar.
Its light, too brittle for the demons that soar.
Stronger voices that lay hidden required.
To destroy the misery, and
Turn the clock from agony.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

When Is It Time?

When is it time to say goodbye,
To all the love I've known,
When is it time to end your pain,
And leave me all alone?

I've watched you on your good days when
I feel your strength renewed;
But shortly after little ups,
The down days then ensue.

We ride this roller-coaster of
Emotions as we try,
To make it through another day,
And yet, I can't deny ...

That as I look into your face
On days that have been bad,
I see a look that beckons me
It's tired, and hurt, and sad.

The little spark I used to see
Behind those loving eyes,
Is growing ever clouded
By life's cruel inhumane side.

I try to see beyond the pain
You feel with every step;
And softly whisper to myself
This may get better yet.

If I can bear to watch you
Just another day or two;
I justify my reasons to
Ensure I cling to you.

For letting go is harder for
The person left behind;
It means that if I let you go,
I cannot turn back time.

Back to the days I long for now,
When you were full of life;
And every day held promise,
And our futures, clear and bright.

But now the lights are darkening ...
We take it daily now;
I cannot see our futures clear
Or think beyond this cloud.

I think the hardest part in this
Is never knowing why,
I have to be courageous
And I have to say goodbye.

For if I let myself admit
It's time to let you go;
I'd have to face reality
Without you ... but I know ...

That soon I have to face the
Final outcome that I dread,
And holding on will only serve
To hurt you in the end.

You've given such unselfish love
For all our time in life,
But if I hold too tightly,
You'll not move t'ward the light ...

On to a better life, where you
Can once again be free,
Of all the pain and discomfort
That holds you here to me.

So if I find the courage just to say
This last farewell,
I hope you will forgive me for
The time it took me; still ...

I'll hold with me, the memories
That in my heart remain,
Pray one day, down the road a'ways
... They'll lessen my own pain...

Friday, July 22, 2011

You're not around...

First Ma and now you,
have left ne witout a clue
I cry all night as i look for you...
Please come back i don know how to live...
I'm lost in this world with nobody to see
Please come back fatty,
I'm waiting here for you
My arms stretched out eager to hold you
I cant go on by myself I need you to guide me,
hold my hand and teach me the ways of the world...
There is no one like you..
I miss you so much...please come back to me,
Please don make me search
No future without you as no past would have been lived
Please come back to me fatty,
With memories I cant live
You held me tight when ma left us....
Who do i talk to now...
Please come back fatty, come back to me...
I cant go on without you...
I cant go on at all

I'm broken inside nobody can see...I laugh to hide my tears and everybody misreads....

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Just a little longer...

Wide open space,
Between the trees and me,
Emptiness and me,
Confusion and decisions,
Feelings hard to define,
And I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

Coldness seeps
Its way in,
I am falling deeper,
Into what I fear most,
As I reach out,
There is nothing there,
As possible there was something once,
Only to be gone,
And I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

The sun drops,
The last inch of light falls,
The squirrels more likely to be huddled up,
But not me,
Something I never possessed,
And I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

Then the sun has gone,
Darkness spreads its wings over me,
I see nothing so no one sees me,
Feeling of bitterness only,
And I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

An Owl peers down,
With question in her eyes,
She doesn't have a hope,
In helping me,
As she doesn't see my pain,
Spreads her wings,
Passes me by,
And I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

The soft earth,
Seems the only thing holding me up,
Even then I could slip,
And wondering takes me,
To why and how I got here,
Without even knowing it,
Yet no one notices,
As they didn't see before,
So I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

Shimmering in the darkness,
I see two moons,
Reflecting off a stream of thoughts,
Ongoing forever more,
Along a rocky road,
Slowly giving in to finding a way out,
I take the plunge under the river,
Then the wind carries a whisper,
Gently on a breeze,
'Just a little longer.'

Slow Tears

I look up
as a tear rolls slowly
down my cheek
I think about better days
and wonder if I'll feel that way again
you look at me
with those eyes I know so well
always serious, so deep and insightful
as though you're always in control
But not today
not now
Now you look so scared
like for once you don't have the answer
I gaze at you
looking deep into those hazel eyes
Hoping to understand
why you've said those things you did
I wonder for a moment
if this is all a dream
if I shall wake in the morning
and be relieved
you look at me
with a confusion I have never seen
slowly pull me towards you
and wipe the tears from my cheek


An unnoticed identity clouded,
restless beneath your feet
sorrow life years buried in dirt
billions of cares unforgiven.
Scar a lifeline on granite stone
living wasted nothings
These unspoken distant calls repel,
dying seeds of hateful notes
Use nitrous pins to expose
this evil flesh inside
revealing impure fragile wings
that can't ever be hidden
Yourself seen towards judgement
flow an ocean of tears seeping
downwards to Hell.

Each Passing Moment

All at once I must return
to the blue water,
before so comforting and yet
now strangely insufficient.
The knowledge of you,
too much to bear with
you so far away.

I dread the leaving,
and hate the coming distance,
the start of the grieving
for your love, for your love.

I return to our stars,
my link to you
and all they represented
of you, and me, of ourselves.
The scent of you
incensing me further, with
you not here today.

I dread the leaving
and hate the growing distance,
the start of the grieving
for more love, of your love.

The time is almost upon me
and leaving for even a moment,
tears my heart in two
with no hope of rejoining.
The thought of you
brings tears to my eyes,
stinging, streaming down my face.

I dread the leaving
and hate the cold distance,
the start of the grieving
for all of you and our love.

It's here now, the time
I now die a little inside.
Like a flower denied his sunshine
I cower in the shadow of hopelessness
Waiting......Waiting for you.
The thought of your warmth
regenerates my petals
anticipating your touch,
your kiss and your grace.

I dread the maddening night,
I hate the cloudy skies
that deny me our stars
and, the look of love from your eyes.

Just for tonight...

Dear Rebound Sex, you must be the hardest thing to unravel right now. You see, I always opposed you, I looked down on you, I counted my luc...