Destiny fulfilled...

The razor's edge
Honed...
Sharp...
Slicing ...
Tearing away
A flash of light
Ending it all
Seeking pain
The final ecstasy
Searching
Reality
Destiny fulfilled
Death.

Maybe this is how it ends...

My eyes are tired, don't want to close them.
'Cause if I do, I know I'll break down.
The light in me is starting to grow dim
and yet I'm still so tightly wound.

My body hurts, still I move on.
My heart gets faster with every beat.
I wonder, will I make it to dawn?
No one knows so I retreat.

Running on the inside, I trip and fall;
I feel the pain scourge through.
I miss my sanity most of all
and realize there is nothing left to do.

So when I fall, I don't try to stop;
everything slows in pace.
I just let my body drop
and feel relief spread across my face.

I lie in the dark, cold and alone,
thinking about how I don't care.
The meaning in this is still unknown
and try to decipher, I do not dare.

I shed a tear and close my eyes;
I let myself crumble apart.
I feel a piece inside of me die
and knowing this breaks my heart...

Uncertainty...

Uncertainty beckons me
These fears I cannot hide
Leading a life of falsities
A kaleidescope of sorts
Remembering the days gone past
Of things said, promises made
Of lies told, of pains unspoken
What am I yet to find out?
While I weave this web of deceit
You seem even more distant
The truth is I'm saving myself
From feeling anything for you
I see a little part of me disappear
As I fade from your life...

Abandoned

On a dark dreary night
When everything seems distant
Tears roll down for the loss I feel
I killed a part of me
A part of me yet again
In the fear that I couldn't bear the burden

You said you'd be a friend
You said you'd stand by me...
And here I stand today
Alone and unwanted
I haven't regretted many things in my life
I haven't wanted to change any
But looking back now
I wish we never met
Cause knowing you turned out
To be the biggest mistake I ever made...

And I smile...

I close my eyes against the tears

And push all thought from my mind

In an effort to stop the pain

But inside I feel the cry resound

As it echoes within me

And clamping my jaw tightly shut

So the screams cannot break free

I feel the rip inside my soul

As every denial rages out

I clench my fingers, nails digging in

Refusing still to shout

A burden I bear all on my own

A secret none can see and know

With a smile that lies, I greet the world

While I crumble inside of me...

Of Lust and Desire...

That evening, I found you charming:
Kind/benign; but in your own quiet way,
Bright as the sun...
And we both burned incandescently
Before the night was done...
For you were moth and I was flame
Primordial fire we were challenged to tame
As we writhed through the ritual
no one should name
Of touch and tease/debauch and please;
Drowning each other in scandalous seas
Of lava like lust
Till we fell to our knees
In uncontrolled ecstasy....

A puppeteer of lechery,
You manipulated my body
Like a marionetter;
A wild raging bull filling me full;
Bending me to the thrill
Of your unexpected will
In ways I can never forget;
As I let you hold me/mold me,
Carefully overpower me,
Deliciously devour me
Like a starving man...
Explore me like some exotic land
Of fruits and flowers,
Honey and milk...
It seemed for hours you stroked my skin
as if it were silk...
And we were purged and submerged
In punitive heat
Sweeping over us in surges
of unspeakable urges,
turgid and sweet...

Blank yet wondering...

With each passing moment
I slip into an emotional coma....
Every thought an expression undeterred
A mysterious sense of agony
Eating away into a mindless purpose
Sifting through every motion emotion
Reliability of non existence
Torn from within
A duct taped smile
Knowing all that is beyond logic
And yet I stand here painting
Myself red with the irony
Of all that is me
But I know in my heart you'll be ok....

Thoughts run astray....

Pale eyes, a blank expression,
wander through clouds of indescribable dreams.
Cold mist air, surrounded isolation
flaws my occupied mind
with either hate or death.
Something certain will be for always;
change in time forbids movement.
Fearing you understands myself;
help me open up, just a little more...

Echo of a shattered soul...

Like tyrants assembled with tears
Trembling like a tomb
And singing like a statue
I am as empty as the ocean.
My blind eyes scream in silence
So this eternal echo will be known.
Given to the foils of time,
And shattered like plate glass-
You freeze within the fire.
Darkness now lives at daylight,
And shadows turn to the ghosts.
With all that shined is hollow
You imagine unconsciously.
And pretending to sleep you realize,
Nothing is what it seems...

Will you run into my arms the first time you see me,
Just as you whispered to me over the phone,
When my eyes, red from the sleepless night, anxious to see you in reality
Hides its beauty?
Will you embrace me so it feels like forever,
Though the smell of cheap perfume diffuses all over,
And my clothes worn, having refused to be adorned
By whom I'm scorned?
Will you love me tomorrow as you do today,
When I’m lost for words, with nothing to say,
Overwhelmed at the thought that you chose me
From the many hunters, all armed in their beauty?
Will you still love me when I have loved you so much,
That all I do is stand in wait to satisfy your desires in a rush,
And my olive-brown skin no longer glows, but wrinkles
From life’s blows?

I love how we've got an open relationship....
Telling each other exactly how we feel,
Telling me to always be real.
I love how you can make me smile from so many miles away,
Holding on to every word you say. ...
I love how I can act like the total geek that I am...
You bring so much joy,
And you did right from the start.
Sometimes I wonder is this a dream, is this true?
You came to me at a time I was blue...
Damn babe can you be any more perfect?
Ever since that night, you changed my life,
I’m dying to be your wife....
I love how we are not afraid to try new things,
Accepting whatever life brings.
I love how we have so much in common.
I love how you see beyond what others see,
The real me...
We understand each other on a different level.
Babe you and I are so random.
But besides the point,
I’m so grateful to be a part of your life.
Loving me like no other has before,
And I could never ask for anything more.
To make a long story short,
I love everything about you and our relationship…
I love you with all my heart…

When I first spoke to you 
I felt like I had known you forever, 
Telling you my secrets 
And what I didn't want ever. 
You listened to me I bet you thought I'd never end, 
Who would have thought 
We would become more than just friends. 
Over a few days time, I got to know the real you... 
A boy so caring and gentle, 
With a heart so true... 
You've survived your life 
With hurt and loneliness by your side. 
I told you I'd never leave 
Because of the feelings I have inside... 
I know you, like no one I have ever known, 
And sometimes I wonder What I'd do if you were gone? 
So I have decided Time answers all... 
I know its meant to be 
And time will remove the wall... 
I love the way we are together, 
You can always make me smile. 
Meeting you has changed my life 
And I really love you so, 
The feelings I feel for you I am never letting go... 
Remember I'll love you always 
As I know you will too...