Imagination...

Distant voices race through my head,
as I stave off insanity.
But this time, the voice is real.
Unsure of its origin, I feel my soul is not as cold; my burden lighter.
Though I smile, I soon shiver in frustration.
Tears stream down my cheeks,
as I cannot deny that the other voice is my own,
as my rationality succumbs to my imagination...

Nothing more than a friend...

You were always so perfect to me,
so soft and gentle,
cherishing you instantly,
without a second glance,
I never distrusted those eyes,
that lied to me continuously,
I promised you I'd always try,
but slowly you were losing me.

I would always have given you anything,
just to keep your interest,
stopping my heart from remembering,
all the pain you caused,
I never pulled away from that kiss,
that held a painful hint of truth,
Maybe you'd be too hard to miss,
so I said I was still in love with you.

I wanted more than just the infatuation,
that you found in me.
You said love was only a distraction,
that you really didn't need,
so I cried myself to sleep,
knowing the times we shared must end.
You couldn't let emotion run deep,
you said you made love to me, as a friend.

But eventually, my love,
friendships fade, too,
and I can't make love and walk away,
pretending I don't love you.
Never once did I push you away,
but everything comes to end,
so all that's left to say,
is goodbye...

Reminded...

As we sat there silent
I was reminded of all the reasons why I love you
Your smile,
and the way it brings such life into me
Your laugh,
and the way it makes everything okay
Your eyes,
and the way they seem to read my thoughts

As we stand here now
I am reminded of all the reasons why I hate you
Your smile,
and the way it confuses me
Your laugh,
and the way it seems to mock me
Your eyes,
and the way they can look into mine and not feel a thing...

Terrors of my love...

A warm sensation fills my body
My heart races with every touch
The softness of your voice soothes
My soul
As I lay there hoping the moment
Will never end
Calling out for you
Praying that you'll never let me go
The sensation so strong
I can no longer feel my body
Slowly I fade in and out of reality
In an instant the warm sensation
Fades away
My heart empty
My soul torn apart
Lying there; wondering where I went
Wrong
Calling out for you, only to find
there is no answer
My mind invaded with thoughts
So cruel and unrefined
The sensation of fear of what's to come
Slowly the reality over powering
The lust and fantasy
Leaving me empty
Confused on how to think or feel
The loneliness I feel
So wretched and compelled
Betrayal to myself
Revealing the terrors of my love

The silent cry...

As darkness nears
I feel the bitter air
Invade my lungs.

My breathing labors
As the night's chill
Sucks the life out of me.

Slowly, I drift away
Light-headedness fills my soul
My every move a mechanical dream.

I am fading fast
Fading into a world of blackness
A world of death.

Haunting laughter echoes in my ears
Ringing louder, louder still
I cover my ears - the pain too intense.

I let out a scream,
Panicked and shrill,
But the silence engulfed me and nobody heard...

You let go of my hand
You drifted away
Holding on to hope
I followed your way
Each passing hour
Each moment that speeds
I dream of you
Right next to me
I wake every morning
With a fistfull of dreams
Only to see it disseminate through my fingers
And I'm lost...

Inhalation...

Kissing sounds by curtain pairs on the window,
Taste of her lips , teeth and saliva when she smiles,
Her manicured nails,
Dull boring sound from the television, scratching and removing the
velvet algae accumulated on the surface of perception
Burning taste of water,
Numb silence of the ice cubes,
Piercing pain in the stomach, slimy and grey resembling an old sin;
slowly devouring the core of existence,
All going up and down - rhythmic yet strenuous like fluorescent
yellow images of a electrocardiogram; fading away into bluish white haze.