Uncertainty...

Uncertainty beckons me
These fears I cannot hide
Leading a life of falsities
A kaleidescope of sorts
Remembering the days gone past
Of things said, promises made
Of lies told, of pains unspoken
What am I yet to find out?
While I weave this web of deceit
You seem even more distant
The truth is I'm saving myself
From feeling anything for you
I see a little part of me disappear
As I fade from your life...

Abandoned

On a dark dreary night
When everything seems distant
Tears roll down for the loss I feel
I killed a part of me
A part of me yet again
In the fear that I couldn't bear the burden

You said you'd be a friend
You said you'd stand by me...
And here I stand today
Alone and unwanted
I haven't regretted many things in my life
I haven't wanted to change any
But looking back now
I wish we never met
Cause knowing you turned out
To be the biggest mistake I ever made...

And I smile...

I close my eyes against the tears

And push all thought from my mind

In an effort to stop the pain

But inside I feel the cry resound

As it echoes within me

And clamping my jaw tightly shut

So the screams cannot break free

I feel the rip inside my soul

As every denial rages out

I clench my fingers, nails digging in

Refusing still to shout

A burden I bear all on my own

A secret none can see and know

With a smile that lies, I greet the world

While I crumble inside of me...

Of Lust and Desire...

That evening, I found you charming:
Kind/benign; but in your own quiet way,
Bright as the sun...
And we both burned incandescently
Before the night was done...
For you were moth and I was flame
Primordial fire we were challenged to tame
As we writhed through the ritual
no one should name
Of touch and tease/debauch and please;
Drowning each other in scandalous seas
Of lava like lust
Till we fell to our knees
In uncontrolled ecstasy....

A puppeteer of lechery,
You manipulated my body
Like a marionetter;
A wild raging bull filling me full;
Bending me to the thrill
Of your unexpected will
In ways I can never forget;
As I let you hold me/mold me,
Carefully overpower me,
Deliciously devour me
Like a starving man...
Explore me like some exotic land
Of fruits and flowers,
Honey and milk...
It seemed for hours you stroked my skin
as if it were silk...
And we were purged and submerged
In punitive heat
Sweeping over us in surges
of unspeakable urges,
turgid and sweet...

Blank yet wondering...

With each passing moment
I slip into an emotional coma....
Every thought an expression undeterred
A mysterious sense of agony
Eating away into a mindless purpose
Sifting through every motion emotion
Reliability of non existence
Torn from within
A duct taped smile
Knowing all that is beyond logic
And yet I stand here painting
Myself red with the irony
Of all that is me
But I know in my heart you'll be ok....

Thoughts run astray....

Pale eyes, a blank expression,
wander through clouds of indescribable dreams.
Cold mist air, surrounded isolation
flaws my occupied mind
with either hate or death.
Something certain will be for always;
change in time forbids movement.
Fearing you understands myself;
help me open up, just a little more...

Echo of a shattered soul...

Like tyrants assembled with tears
Trembling like a tomb
And singing like a statue
I am as empty as the ocean.
My blind eyes scream in silence
So this eternal echo will be known.
Given to the foils of time,
And shattered like plate glass-
You freeze within the fire.
Darkness now lives at daylight,
And shadows turn to the ghosts.
With all that shined is hollow
You imagine unconsciously.
And pretending to sleep you realize,
Nothing is what it seems...