Erratic drawings....

Living in daze
This morning half awake
Drawing and scratching
Through all that has been
Erasing the past
Figuring out the future
Standing on a land that has not yet been formed
Illustrating sketching the has been
Nothing to look forward to
Nothing to hold on to
Living in a dark disdain
All I got is my sanity
And even that seems to fade...

Written by a dear dear friend of mine 'Sumanta Kumar Saha'

Every time I was dejected and blue
I just closed my eyes and found you
You inspire like nobody else could do
And I am at lack of words that’d describe you
I thank you for those numerous times
When you touched my heart and made me smile

Sir-ji you are a poet and you didn't know it... :P

Damned and faceless...

In dark dismay I recall a day
With word and pen so fine in fashion
Mellowed away to shades of gray
Today I just pine for that passion

Yet void of rest I take the test
Facing another graceless day, alone
Giving to the quest my generic best
Faceless to this world, turned to stone

So damned to drift along the rift-
Of teasing emotions I can't feel
I search and sift for one to share my gift
The silky sand oceans of ordeal

With red-rimmed eye, a solemn sigh
Echoes the wonder in my call
With darkness on high blanketing the sky
Does anyone understand me at all?

Stirred, but not shaken, I awaken
The virility of hope for a tomorrow
If only to be taken, forsaken
By the groping shadow of Sorrow...

April's Moods

Spring should be a joyful time
Filled with happiness and flowers
Unfortunately, April mine
Seems to have more clouds and showers.

As the rain falls from the cloud
April showers me with pain
Hurting then my soul does shroud
And on down comes the rain.

As the rain falls from the skies
Showers fall upon my face-
Teardrops running from my eyes
Each moving at a different pace.

Trying to act like I don't care
I hold my head high through the drizzle
But this sorrow I can hardly bear
And soon those reckless feelings fizzle.

April soon brings back the sun
To chase away the rain-gray skies
But my dark days are not yet done
As long as they stay, I will cry.

Is This What Life Is All About?

As I lay here in my dark, and lonely room,
filled with sadness , and with gloom.
I listen for your breathing, but it's not there.
I reach to touch you, but touch only air.
In my heart is a loneliness that I alone must bare.

I feel all around me there is no one who really cares.
So, forgive me if I must cry out
"Is This What Life Is All About?"
to feel so empty, and cast out.

Where are the ones who said they cared!
Where are the ones who said they would always be there!
So, as I lay here in my dark, and lonely room ,
filled with sadness, and with gloom.
Forgive me if I must cry out,
"Is This What Life Is All About?"

The things I gave away...

When we first met I made you promise
you would never leave,
then I told you of the demons,
and how they made me bleed.

I made you promise crazy things,
but your words were not enough.
I couldn't believe you loved me
I thought to love me was too tough.

When I cry about my past
and say that I'm ashamed
I know I am the only one
who is to be blamed.
Then you crawl in bed beside me
and say that it's ok-
so I cry for my loss of innocence
and the things I gave away.

When I can't sleep through the night,
when I toss and turn in bed,
you wrap your arms around me
and chase the demons from my head.
You say don't talk about the past
you tell me that it's gone,
you say since we're together now
it's time that I move on,
you say that I'm your angel
but if you only knew
the kind of thoughts I think
and what I used to do.
You tell me it doesn't matter
and that you love me anyway-
so I cry for my loss of innocence
and the things I gave away.

They said that's how they liked it
when I dragged my nails across their backs,
but now you hold my hand in yours
and tell me to relax,
you say that this is making love
and this is the better way-
so I cry for my loss of innocence
and the things I gave away.

I never felt a thing
before you touched my heart
and when you touched my body,
I thought I'd fall apart.
When you kiss my lips,
I feel you deep within my soul
then you wrap your arms around me
and say you'll never let me go.

When I tremble at your tenderness
and melt in your arms,
I know you really love me,
and you'll keep me safe from harm
you know I've never loved
or been loved in any kind of way-
so I cry for my loss of innocence
and the things I gave away.

Why...

Why do I smile at the sound of your voice?
Why do I let you take over me as if I had no choice?
Why do I let you touch me in places never touched?
Why do I like to have you around so much?

Why do I melt at the tenderness of your kiss?
Why do I feel like I could live forever like this?
Why do I put my heart in your hands?
Why do I answer to your every demand?

Why do I tell you leaving me is not your wrong?
Why do I let you know with out you I'm not quite as strong?
Why do I take you back even though I know it's not right?
Why do I feel like I should please you by not putting up a fight?

Why do I care about you even though you hurt me?
Why do I turn my head from what's plain reality?
Why do I try to hide from what is true?
Why do I still have these feelings for you?